Intelligent Designs is a game development collective based in Ukraine.
We’re a team of 7 hundred developers, slaving away all day and night
devoloping games under extreme conditions of war. Between us we have 4
thousand years of game development experience.
At Intelligent Designs, we take a monk-like approach to game
development. We wear robes, we’re all bald, we can’t have sex, and
we’re extremely dedicated to game development like most monks. I
personally have had sex before. We use state of the art extreme high
end computers with liquid nitrogen cooling and a new technology called
RGB+. Essentially, RGB+ allows the components and peripherals in our
computers to glow on the full spectrum of colours, much like normal
RGB. However RGB+ allows a broader range of sub-primary colours and
semi-primary colours, which leads to extremely accurate colour
replication on a range of our devices (i.e Backlit Mechanical Gaming
Keyboard and certain headsets with LED’s that support the RGB+
standard).
Here at Intelligent Designs we take a strong stance on social issues.
We have mandatory recycling which leads us to a net zero landfill
output, as our team members are forced to find second lives for things
like empty wrappers and containers. Also, due to a zoning loophole, we
technically operate with net zero carbon emissions, as our office is in
a separate district that sits just outside the bounds of our cities
ecological surveys.
At Intelligent Designs, we staff some of the most technically minded
programmers, artists and engineers on the planet – with some of our
staff coming from prestigious organizations like NASA and Blackrock –
often quitting 8 figure salary jobs for a chance to join our team as an
intern. We develop all our games on a leaked version of the upcoming
Unreal Engine 6.
I hope you’ve got plenty of sick leave saved up – because this game is
going to have you very ill. Essentially having a medical episode from
how intense the gameplay is. Get some rest… You’ll need it for all the
late nights you’ll be having from now on for the rest of your life
because you will be up all night playing Sexy Stick Survivor.
Sexy Strick Survivor is the greates game ever made. Period. I have
reported your Steam account to Valve as fraudulent so that you get
banned – because you don’t need all those other games. The thought of
you playing Besieged makes me feel sick to my stomach. People who play
other games should be ashamed of themselves, and frankly I hate their
guts with every ounce of my being. This game requires a minimum of
500mb of hard drive storage and at least 4gb of memory, and a computer.
Move the mouse around the screen.
The tanks that shoot will make you scream.
Collect the points and buy a shield.
Dont get hit, lest you will squeal!
Don’t get shot, or you’ll get mad.
Collect cool points today, it will make you glad.
Sexy Stick Survivor is a game where you need to stay alive on your
computer. Do not die in this game, because you will fail the game which
is not the objective.